“If you are irritated by every rub, How will you be polished?” – Rumi
How true is that statement? We see it every day as we live, drive, and shop. People throwing themself into a rage over the smallest thing and acting as if the simple unintended action of the innocent bystander has destroyed their way of life. It’s unfortunate that people have lost their patience with their fellow man. Perhaps by recognizing this, we can begin to find our patience once again.
Not long ago a friend and I visited a local drive through Starbucks. We were both having a horrible morning and thought a nice cup of coffee would do the trick. As we pulled up, we noticed a car speeding away. Our drinks were ordered as as we reached the window to pay, we noticed fresh coffee thrown all over the wall and drive through window. The cashier was visually upset and my friend asked her if the coffee was thrown at her. She said yes, that a customer was upset over a coffee prepared incorrectly.
Let me get this straight. The preparation of your coffee was more important than the face of the cashier that could have been burned by the steaming hot coffee being thrown at her?
I wish I could say that this is an extreme case of lack of patience, but it is not. Living in a suburban area of Washington, D.C. you tend to find cases of road rage are more contagious than any flu that can be thrown at us. Horns constantly blaring as people have no patience for the person driving in front of them because they happen to be driving the speed limit, or people who don’t have the patience to consider their own well being.
So how does one begin to get more patience?
Here are a few tips to help you gain patience and have a happier, peaceful, day.
1. Ask.
If you know of someone who always show a great deal of patience in the most chaotic times, ask them how they do it. Sometimes the best information comes from the people who can talk from experience.
2. Count to 10.
We’ve all heard this one. Stop what you are doing, count to ten and then rethink what you are about to say or do. Many times that is enough to stop you from doing something that you will regret.
3. Don’t rush.
This is a no-brainer. If you are rushing in the morning and you are looking at the clock every second just KNOWING you are about to be late to work, an appointment, etc, you are bound to be impatient! Wake up early, have a nice breakfast, and leave early for your destination. Arriving early feels good and looks good to your employers. While I have no studies to support this, I know from experience, even arriving ten minutes early allows your day to be more productive. That is ten minutes of uninterrupted work time that in many cases will allow you to complete a task in half the time (assuming you don’t begin to get phone calls as soon as you get into the office).
4. Meditate.
Meditation creates patience. It clears your mind of the stressers and allows you to begin anew. While meditation itself requires patience, you must learn to let go. Once you have mastered the art of letting go, patience will surely follow.
There are many sites to teach you the art of meditation. I, however, recommend taking local guided meditation classes in the beginning as you will have the opportunity to ask questions and get helpful advice from an expert.
5. For just a moment, put yourself in their shoes.
How do other drivers in the traffic jam feel? How would you feel if they were riding your bumper and honking at you for something that is not your fault?
How would you feel if someone threw a steaming hot cup of coffee at you because their order wasn’t made to perfection.
How would you feel if you were the cashier being mistreated by the customer who felt they waited too long in line.
6. Timing is everything.
If you know that rush hour traffic causes you to be impatient, try to avoid it. Sometimes beating the traffic is just a matter of leaving 10 minutes earlier or a bit later. In most cases, leaving later to avoid the traffic will get you home close enough to the same time anyway and it allows you to avoid that stresser.
Same with shopping. If you don’t like waiting in lines, try going to the market as soon as they open or later in the evening when more people are home than shopping.
7. Slow down!
Most of us live in a fast paced environment because we are a victim of the multi-tasking movement. Do one thing at a time, complete it, and then move on. Trust me, the work gets done just as fast if not faster.
ZenHabits has a wonderful article on slowing down. If you are serious about changing your life, Zen habits should be your first stop. Mr. Babuata has tips to improve every aspect of your existence and I know I have mentioned on many occasions how grateful I am to his blog. He is an expert on doing more with less effort and creating a stress free life.
8. Acceptance.
Accept the fact that things will not always happen as you want them to. Accept that you will not see instant results, and don’t try to get them.
I would love to hear your tips on gaining patience.
~Tree~
