“If you are irritated by every rub, How will you be polished?” – Rumi

How true is that statement? We see it every day as we live, drive, and shop. People throwing themself into a rage over the smallest thing and acting as if the simple unintended action of the innocent bystander has destroyed their way of life. It’s unfortunate that people have lost their patience with their fellow man. Perhaps by recognizing this, we can begin to find our patience once again.

Not long ago a friend and I visited a local drive through Starbucks. We were both having a horrible morning and thought a nice cup of coffee would do the trick. As we pulled up, we noticed a car speeding away. Our drinks were ordered as as we reached the window to pay, we noticed fresh coffee thrown all over the wall and drive through window. The cashier was visually upset and my friend asked her if the coffee was thrown at her. She said yes, that a customer was upset over a coffee prepared incorrectly.

Let me get this straight. The preparation of your coffee was more important than the face of the cashier that could have been burned by the steaming hot coffee being thrown at her?

I wish I could say that this is an extreme case of lack of patience, but it is not. Living in a suburban area of Washington, D.C. you tend to find cases of road rage are more contagious than any flu that can be thrown at us. Horns constantly blaring as people have no patience for the person driving in front of them because they happen to be driving the speed limit, or people who don’t have the patience to consider their own well being.

So how does one begin to get more patience?

Here are a few tips to help you gain patience and have a happier, peaceful, day.

1. Ask.

If you know of someone who always show a great deal of patience in the most chaotic times, ask them how they do it. Sometimes the best information comes from the people who can talk from experience.

2. Count to 10.

We’ve all heard this one. Stop what you are doing, count to ten and then rethink what you are about to say or do. Many times that is enough to stop you from doing something that you will regret.

3. Don’t rush.

This is a no-brainer. If you are rushing in the morning and you are looking at the clock every second just KNOWING you are about to be late to work, an appointment, etc, you are bound to be impatient! Wake up early, have a nice breakfast, and leave early for your destination. Arriving early feels good and looks good to your employers. While I have no studies to support this, I know from experience, even arriving ten minutes early allows your day to be more productive. That is ten minutes of uninterrupted work time that in many cases will allow you to complete a task in half the time (assuming you don’t begin to get phone calls as soon as you get into the office).

4. Meditate.

Meditation creates patience. It clears your mind of the stressers and allows you to begin anew. While meditation itself requires patience, you must learn to let go. Once you have mastered the art of letting go, patience will surely follow.

There are many sites to teach you the art of meditation. I, however, recommend taking local guided meditation classes in the beginning as you will have the opportunity to ask questions and get helpful advice from an expert.

5. For just a moment, put yourself in their shoes.

How do other drivers in the traffic jam feel? How would you feel if they were riding your bumper and honking at you for something that is not your fault?

How would you feel if someone threw a steaming hot cup of coffee at you because their order wasn’t made to perfection.

How would you feel if you were the cashier being mistreated by the customer who felt they waited too long in line.

6. Timing is everything.

If you know that rush hour traffic causes you to be impatient, try to avoid it. Sometimes beating the traffic is just a matter of leaving 10 minutes earlier or a bit later. In most cases, leaving later to avoid the traffic will get you home close enough to the same time anyway and it allows you to avoid that stresser.

Same with shopping. If you don’t like waiting in lines, try going to the market as soon as they open or later in the evening when more people are home than shopping.

7. Slow down!

Most of us live in a fast paced environment because we are a victim of the multi-tasking movement. Do one thing at a time, complete it, and then move on. Trust me, the work gets done just as fast if not faster.

ZenHabits has a wonderful article on slowing down. If you are serious about changing your life, Zen habits should be your first stop. Mr. Babuata has tips to improve every aspect of your existence and I know I have mentioned on many occasions how grateful I am to his blog. He is an expert on doing more with less effort and creating a stress free life.

8. Acceptance.

Accept the fact that things will not always happen as you want them to. Accept that you will not see instant results, and don’t try to get them.

I would love to hear your tips on gaining patience.

~Tree~

Rajah Rajaprita
May 2, 1993 – May 22, 2009

The day I brought you home was the greatest day of my life. Such a wonderful, tiny, fuzzy, ball of love and life. For 16 years we were insperable. Together we traveled the US, Canada, and Alaska. Together we enjoyed life to it’s fullest and savored each day.  You always had a way of making me smile, no matter how deeps the hurt or pain and love me unconditionally even when I didn’t deserve it.  In return, I happily comforted you during the loudest storms. Together we would share a blanket as you would take comfort in knowing your best friend was there.

All who knew you loved you, and for good reason. You were the best dog, the best friend, any human could possibly have.

Until we meet again, Rajah, and we will meet again. Know your human still loves you. Thank you for being my best friend.

~Tree~

1. Those who have a garden tend to get more sun.

In the US

40-60% of the population are at risk of Vitamin D deficiency. This is known
to be a potential cause of many disorders/diseases such as

Depression, Chronic Pain, Arthritis, Fatique, and many more to list. Of
course, you can easily take an over-the-counter Vitamin d3 to combat this
deficiency, but did you know that only

15 minutes a day of mid day sun can allow your body to make all of the Vitamin D
it needs?  When you tend to your garden, it is generally during the day time
and will help you balance your Vitamin D intake.

2. Gardening gets you out of the house for a breath of fresh air.

Last year

DISCOVER magazine even reported that in your home you’re breathing in:

• Chlorine gas from your cleaning products
• Pieces of cockroaches and other bugs
• Microscopic dust mites

Meanwhile, at work, a cubic meter of air in your office contains:

• Several hundred fungal spores
• 89 micrograms of ethanol
• 42 micrograms of acetone
• 16 micrograms of
  
  formaldehyde
• 1/2 microgram of chloroform

Byproducts of your coworkers’

flatulence

The Benefits of Getting Fresh Air

While

outdoor air isn’t always perfect either, you can do your body (and your
mind) good by making it a point to get some fresh air everyday. What this
means, of course, is that you’re spending time outside, where you’re not only
more likely to be doing something active (i.e. getting exercise!) but you’re
immersed in nature.

Numerous studies show that spending time in nature leads to major health
benefits. For instance:

1. Living in an area that gives you access to green spaces, such as trees
   and grass, may help you to live longer, according to a study in the
   
   Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health.
2. Children with access to nature are able to better cope with stress,
   while those with ADHD experience a reduction in symptoms when they can get
   outdoors, according to a study in the
   
   American Journal of Public Health.
3. 3Nature can ease stress and anxiety, help you recover from surgery and
   illness faster and even increase your mental “flow.”

So as much as possible, get outside. For an after-dinner stroll, a picnic
in the park, a night out under the stars … and by all means, make sure your
kids take advantage of the great outdoors, too.

Via Sixwise.com

3. Home grown foods taste better and have more nutrients (Not to mention
the cost to yourself and our planet!)

The average piece of produce travels 1500 miles before making it to your
dinner table. It is picked prior to ripening and allowed to ripen in crates and
in the back of trucks denying it, and you, the nutrients that sun ripening
gives. Gardening at home not only saves you money but gives you a healthier
alternative to store bought produce. You know exactly what chemicals are being
used in the production, no surprises. Just as importantly your dedication and
love for the garden gives you a newly found respect for the plant and it’s
fruits. You tend to waste less and enjoy your food more.

But I live in the city! How can I have the benefits of a garden?

One of the most common misconceptions is that you must have a lot of land in
order to garden. While it is true that there are some fruits/vegetables that
require a little more land for rooting, most can be grown in containers on your
porch. Many hybrids have been created for the container gardener although
traditional forms of lettuce, hot peppers, bell peppers, bushy cucumbers,
onions, garlic, carrots, and many other vegetables will grow quite well in
containers.  I urge you all to plant at least one vegetable that you use
frequently this year and enjoy the benefits of gardening for yourself. If growing them in a container is still not an option, many cities have community gardens that are available to those who have the desire.

As always, I would love to hear your experiences!

~Tree~

Best Medicine.

Secret acts of Kindness

Think about a time you were waiting in a long line at a department store. The people ahead of you are getting frustrated, the cashier is getting frustrated because the patron’s are being less than friendly to her. By the time you get to the check out, the once friendly cashier has resorted to not speaking. She’s upset and as an outsider looking in you can see why. What if you looked straight at that cashier and said. “Wow. You are such an amazing person. You have so much patience and the way you do your job deserves so much respect and appreciation”. All while giving her a huge, genuine smile. Sure they will appear shocked for a few moments, but when it sinks in a smile will form.  You’ve planted the seed, paid for your purchase and left the store.  The person immediately behind you obviously hears the conversation and sees the cashiers big smile and the new found happiness of the cashier spreads to this patron and to several other patrons behind her. Each patron leaves the department store happy. One patron  sees a man trying to exit another store in busy traffic, slows her car down and waves the man on showing him a huge smile. The man smiles back and the seed has been planted. Even if the feeling isn’t permanent, it can be passed on to many people and will indeed be the ripple that can start a tornado of smiles and happiness in your general area.

Doesn’t that feel good? You have done a good deed, one that could possibly pass through an entire city in a span of hours (and it was free).

Today, go out and make someone smile. Plant the seed that could possibly change the world for that one person and watch love bloom in your community. Life is too short to frown and even shorter when you live it without happiness.

Be the change you want to see (Didn’t Jim Carrey say that in Bruce Almighty? Good advice for a comedy!) and start one smile at a time!

Tell me your experiences! I would love to hear your good deeds!

~Tree~

Dr. Laura Berman, author of “Real Sex for Real Women” and “The Passion Prescription,” conducted a nationwide intimacy study, funded by an unrestricted grant by the K-Y brand, and found that couples who kiss each other regularly are eight times more likely to have low stress levels than those who rarely kiss or only kiss during sex. The couples who kiss frequently were also less likely to be depressed.

But not any old kiss will do. A peck on the check is sweet and affectionate, and certainly has its place in a relationship, but Dr. Berman’s study found that the couples who were happiest exchanged at least “one long, wet, 10-second kiss” a day in additional to more casual kisses and cuddling. Another study found that couples who regularly kiss each other hello and goodbye rate their relationships as more satisfying than those who don’t.

…More at NY Health and Happiness Examiner: Kiss stress away.

Enjoy this recipe for Home made Laundry detergent

~Tree~

1. Stop watching the news.  I happened to watch CNN a little more than normal today just to see what was being said. With the swine flu being compared to Hurricane Katrina and called a potential pandemic, is it no wonder it is so stressful?

Stress = Illness. If you stress yourself out over something that is ultimately out of your control, you put yourself in a greater risk of contracting… something. It may not be the Swine flu, but you will get sick.

2. Take appropriate precautionary measures to keep your household safe.

Discuss with your children and family members the importance of frequently washing their hands. Provide each member with a bottle of hand sanitizer to take to their school/office and encourage them to use it. Explain the importance of keeping their hands out of their eyes and mouth.

3. Drink plenty of water, eat plenty of healthy foods.

Sugar actually supresses the immune system, so take measures to reduce the sugar content in your diet. It’s just a precaution that I take every flu season and it should be a practice in all households, in my opinion.

4. Prepare.

While most people already have a standard first aid kit, I feel that it should be mentioned. Make sure you have a thermometer and basic cold/flu medicines, just in case! 

5. Don’t run to the doctor because you have a sniffle.

Swine Flu is not the only thing out there right now and odds are your cough is related to something a lot less serious. Rushing to the doctor will not only put you at risk to contract something else, but puts additional burden on our health care facilities.

How are you handling the Swine flu news? I would love to hear your tips/ideas!